I have so much to talk about, so much that falls under so many different categories and that has no cohesiveness whatsoever. But this is not an essay, and I have a fairly confident hunch that no one with intolerably critical eyes will shamefully judge my grammatically incorrect words.
So, ready, set, free write. Stay with me, go steady, hold on, were off.
Okay. By golly, if one were to lay eyes on me right now, what would they think. I am sprawled upon my one person, or more accurately referred to as "twin", bed. Grey hand me down hoodie sagging from my longlady body. In front of me lies a platter of raspberries that I have been told are in perfect condition, a concoction of spicy finger food and havarti cheese. I also added the sophistication of slathering these said food gems with an all time favorite hummus of mine, and come on, everyones. Go Tribe, go. Thats the brand if you didn't catch on, which obviously means your not cultured in your hummus options. Just joking. So, yeah. I am blogging and eating like a french woman in my canopied twin bed with the latest issue of THE BLOCK keeping me company and flirting with my senses.
This week has felt so stagnant, so surreal and almost uncomfortable in the work department. Contrary to the latter post, I am inspired, don't discount that. Just uncertain as how to execute it, you know? I am so flustered with options and ways to make a buck. I am contemplating travel, work, art, life, relationships. What to immerse myself in to expand my perspectives, heighten my senses, challenge my parameters. I mean, it is not my moral imperative to figure anything out in order to move forward, but I do need to solidify a structure sooner or later, or I may drive my Aquarian self absolutely bananas. I did manage to find a totally fitting business card website that friend recommended to me. And, as mentioned, tons and tons of nice messages. On the happiest note of all, I have spent a substantial amount of everyday with la lady friend. I am growing terribly fond of her, especially after last night. She is just the most fascinating person to be around, enough said. Yesterday we spent a whopping 6 hours on my couch, just sitting, being. I fed her hummus and crackers (hummus will come up a lot in the life of this blog). She took a bus from her hood all the way, practically an hour, to mine. How sweet.
I got home from drinking beers in a parking lot in her hood at 12 bells. The night was endearing. We had THE BLOW slithering their poignant lyrics around the interior my small car and into our ears, into our souls. And by the way, seriously, the blow, you guys are too good to be true. I thought about how much I had adored her that night, perhaps more than ever before. Is this what it feels like for a relationship to progress organically. Is it at the point when you literally cannot remove the mental image of the said someone from your head that you know you are in it for the long haul? Whether it was her embrace, her hands, her touch, her scent, her voice and slurs, and secretive intelligence. I thought of how grateful I am to have her. Especially after I stumbled upon some horrifying news in regards to a good friend of mine.
I went to bed curled up into the tightest ball I have ever managed to contort myself into.
Wishing she was there beside me.
TO BE CONTINUED.