Monday, November 22, 2010

a sign of time passing.

As the sure signs we have entered into a new season continue to arise, and boldly so; I am having to dig deeper and deeper into my inspiration bank for that perfect find to keep me going. keep making, keep doing, keep breathing. 

Usually winter does not immobilize me entirely, and I do love snow, and everything about it, but, alas, this year I seem to have found myself sort of ill prepared. Although, I feel like a hypocrite saying that, as I can't say I have ever put any conscious effort into winterizing, ever. A case of trying to be too cool for school. Long gone are the days of my mum dressing me in my favorite one piece snowsuit, as I laid floppy and tired on my living room floor. In company of said suit were some fancy winter boots, and the usual hat, scarf, and mitt trio. I was then dragged off the floor and thrown out the door to adhere to my supposed favorite season, then. God, it was so effortless, I was so warm, so aware of the cold and yet so untouched by it. Not ever did cold feet disrupt my peace of mind, never did a cold nose send me into a dizzying spell of F-bombs. NEVER WAS I SO FUCKING COLD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

Dressing for function is something I am admittedly just about useless at doing, sadly. I have jackets galore, some that I love to death. But, honestly, who likes to feel all suffocated and over layered and bundled just about to death? Not I. This year though I have promised myself to be more responsible, to respect the opinions of those who claim "winter is enjoyable and serene, you just have to dress for it"! Honestly, these said people look like they live in igloos and you can usually only see a sliver of their eyes so I'm still not even sure if they were human or not. But, mec'd out or not, I still aspire to be more like them. To not want to cry while brushing my car off, with tears of cold rage freezing my eyes shut, to not run marathons from door to door, barely embracing the winter air. I will dress better, but not perfectly. You will still see me sans a jacket, wearing only leather mitts, thin socks, some sort of hat, and regular shoes. Fall apparel essentially. I may look pissed, but really I am just cold, but also hopeful, because I will probably be seconds away from a door, meaning I am only seconds away from being warm. Also, let it be noted, I have a hand to hold this year, which is obviously better than any jacket will ever be.

Like I said, trying to be too cold for school.


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