Growing up, summer heat; the most intense kind, would send beads of bitter sweet sweat down my tiny back as I watched the sun illuminate the hair of the people around me. Youth was made for summer, or summer, was made for youth. No offense to those aged souls out there, you can enjoy the sweltering heat too. But, point being, summer is hopeful. My most favored part of summer was always how blond I would become, before sadly fading back to mousy misery in the following months. I felt beautiful, even as a child, knowing I was sun kissed and golden, if only temporarily. Nowadays, tanning has been traded for kissing, and swimming for biking, and lemonade for beer. Oh the joys of being an adult. Today I went cruising to all of my destinations with "Cruel Summer" severing my eardrums. Yes, laugh, I am a nerd. But what better way to add celebratory value to how hot it was today. Its October, yet, it might as well just be July. Really.
I did a pretty good job of enjoying the shit out of said day, considering everything I had planned to do got cancelled. Firstly, ordered my business cards, amen, and thus biked to my mama, if only to steal our mutually driven car and subtly tell her how much I love her, which is impossible to describe in words. I got my eyebrows waxed, a la cute asian women who doesn't speak a lick of english but always tells me I look better than the last time she saw me. Is that good or bad, I have yet to decide. Also, I should mention they look so good, better than ever. (I'm not vain). I met up with my girlfriend and my best friend who has been vacating from civilization to deal with some personal hoopla. I was so, so happy to see her, my heart flapped a thousand beats per minute. We had my favorite sushi roll at my second favorite sushi restaurant. Stocked up on immunity boosters and drank mate. Got sprayed in the face with water from a box of lettuce in a grocery store. Sat and smoked clove cigarettes while watching the sun bounce off the head of a stunning ginger baby and her equally vibrant, competent parents. Spun on weird devices in a playground, making me too dizzy to stand, sit, talk, see. Drank coffee, saw my friend off, back to her hometown to catch bugs and read Virginia Wolfe. Sat on pavement until my bum went numb, listened to extremely mediocre music, and profoundly irritating starbucks baristas. Read letter after letter from someone I like very much. And, alas:
GET READY. BECAUSE THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
Okay, just as me and my girl were about to be picked up, like seconds before, we bared witness to a potentially random, yet seemingly planned mace attack occurring directly across the street. I suggested we get up and go, as beer bottles began flying and god knows what else. As we were leaving the premises, we both began choking and hacking and crying and, well, dying. The mace had made its way across the fucking street and into our innocent territory. I was more in humor than in shock, and wasn't totally dying, but it was strange. It was like having a relentless gag reflex and incredibly burn-y eyes. It happened so fast, the entire scenario, that I could not believe this was happening to us, bananas. I had to drag my lady, who was on the ground, coughing and almost puking, to safety. Very disturbing. I honestly can say that I have experienced that whole phenomenon of literally being in the wrong place at the wrong time, regardless of involvement.
At least I can cross being maced off my list of weird shit to do before the age of 25. ha.
Sleep on fire.
ps: below is a teaser for my next post. The most sassy shoot I have executed yet. Also, isn't Hollee the most beautiful girl in all the land? Shit. Oh, and, LEAVE COMMENTS. SO I CAN FEEL RESPOND TO THEM, OR SOMETHING.